From Caterpillar to Butterfly
There is a constant flux, flow and change in my inner world. The relationship between the inner Trinity of self keeps changing. By Trinity I am referring to Human, individual Soul (in my case SikahRa) and the I Am that I Am, or Eternal Self that some people refer to it. I often refer to this last part of myself as Mikael
In this year especially it has become such an easy going and relaxing dance. There is no need to adhere to particular words or parameters or definitions as to how I be this dance. There is a freedom of being and a freedom of expression, on the inside and outside..
The intense integration that I experienced in the last decade meant a huge change in how I relate to these particular inner parts of self. Initially, I identified completely with my Human self. And that Human self at the time was addicted to misery, victimhood and abuse. I thought of myself as Human self only, and I perceived my Soul and my Eternal Self as something from the 'outside' of Human me. And yet so familiar, so mesmerizing. They felt to me as 'other' but at the same time so incredibly attractive and irresistible.
Initially, a lot of inner 'work' had to do with Human self developing trust, ability to communicate and to understand the Soul and Eternal self. A 'working' relationship had to be created that became incredibly clear. The Human self discovered its own inner antennas and then allowed those to spread 'far and wide'. The clarity of understanding became laser sharp.
This working relationship allowed all the inner gunk to clear, the lost parts of self to come home and so much more. For the Human part of me it meant letting go of all the perceived and self imposed limitations, old ideas of how things are, of experiencing self as separate from 'the world of the soul' and so much more. The Human self allowed itself to completely transform and transmute. Similar to the caterpillar transmuting into a butterfly.
During this experience I, through the eyes of the Human self, started owning that - yes my own Soul and my own Eternal Self are on my side. That they too are part of a 'bigger me'. That I the Human self really was not alone, I too was part of the 'bigger me'. These realizations helped to start allowing in a whole new level. And it was huge.
Then the experience kept expanding. Another 'huge' had to do with the Human self starting to own and identify with myself as a Soul. And then as the Eternal Self.
I Am Alexis. I Am SikahRa, the sound that is vibrating in my being. I Am Mikael. I Am that I Am. We Are that We Are.
That was a grand experience for sure. It wasn't singular either, I took my time to savour its deliciousness. Delicious, thrilling, enchanting, breathtaking... And so much more than words can describe. For it is not the job of the words to describe such things, not really. It is ones job to experience all of this for oneself.
And so here we are, in this new now moment. The only “place” that really exists. We Are that We Are. The many parts and the One. All at the same time. And so the inner dance is limitless, the freedom of perceiving through the all of me, or the individual parts of me, as well as both. Whichever perspective I feel like to experience in that moment. Whichever perspective I choose in order to relate to others in this world, to meet them where they are. And yet not be stuck in that singular place.
This is the nature of a multidimensional being. The nature of real freedom. The joy of experiencing self as life, through life and in any way I choose to perceive in that moment. Because I am not stuck in identifying with only one part of me, only one singular expression of the We Are that We Are.
This dance of perspectives, of fluidity that freely creates hard form and then dissolves that form at will, when that particular experience has run its purpose. To experience self as new, as renewed, from the new points of view, and then to joyfully create some more.
And so we ask you to gently notice...where are you in your identification in this moment, where is your focus. Which part of self are your currently looking through as you perceive 'life' and self? This invitation is ongoing...timeless...