Updated: May 12
It can be surprising when your friend is no longer the same person that they used to be. It is easy to forget that integration & transformation actually change things. They change a person. You who transformed, are no longer who you were a year ago, two years ago, a decade ago. You are no longer who you were yesterday. You are no longer fixed on one point of view. During the time of integrating of duality, you jump from one side to the opposite side as you are allowing both to come home. Both sides are you.
It can and it does feel very awkward for yourself and those that have to deal with you in that state, because you are no longer solid. How can other people still relate to you when you keep changing? What does it mean for your authenticity, are you still you when you are different than you were yesterday.
You may wonder if you are still real now that you don't seem to hold on to the old stuff any more. You used to think it commendable and a sign of personal strength to hold on to a particular belief through thick and thin. It was a sign of morality. In fact, the old systems relied on you not changing.
What happens now when you loose all that solidity. How can you relate to yourself when you seem to become so fickle. You now are that which you used to look down upon; soft and changeable, vulnerable, and what seems to be unreliable. Like you have no solid foundation.
Are you still you when you keep changing? Who are you as a friend, a partner to others, when you are different every day. Were you a liar yesterday when you believed the opposite of who you are today? Are you a liar today? What does it mean to others when you have perhaps completely turned your belief around. What does it mean when you have resolved a big issue and it is no longer important to you. Perhaps that issue was something that completely defined you in the past. Others may have known you as only that. And now you are perhaps the opposite of who you were yesterday. Will you be a liar tomorrow when you step out of the duality altogether, and no longer participate in your old game. What happens with your relationships with people who may still be in that particular play, can you still relate? Can you be friends, partners? How do you handle their disappointment in you changing, in you seemingly not being on their side any more. What if they see you as the traitor. When you no longer battle, when you truly have stepped out of it all. Will they see you as a failure, as a coward? And if they do, are you ok with that? How do you handle these kinds of feelings about your new choices, about yourself? How do you handle another in their emotions of betrayal, and your emotions like you've done something wrong? Are you ok just being with it all? Feeling it all, being with it all is the most courageous thing that you can do, that you can be.
You may at times wonder which 'anything' is more real that the other. Which 'nothing' is more real than the other?
All these are some of the things you encounter when your foundation is no longer a particular identification. Whatever that was in the first place. The identification, the role you were playing, may have seemed so real from the human perspective. But for the Soul, 100 years of human life is a tiny blip. When you own this, you realize its release.
Then, your foundation is no longer a temporary fleeting thing (from the Souls perspective), but you are now firmly grounded in the I Am that I Am; old perspectives must and do go. I Am that I Am has no definition. It is anything and nothing all at the same time.
And surprisingly, you become more authentically You than you ever were before. In your changeability, in your flow of identities, in your act, in your play; you are a flavor and a spice much more than any particular 'side' or identity. You are you in whatever play you find yourself in. And surprisingly again; you become more real than ever before, more recognizable, more reliable, more 'solid' when you recognize yourself as all and nothing at all at the same time. You hold opposites with ease in your 'and', because you are all the time aware of who you really are; the I Am that I Am with no definition and all acts at the same time.
Others can feel this. They feel that you are now incredibly more trustworthy in your flowing changeable state than you ever were when you were a solid identification. This is one of those incredible aha moments and also one of those surprising discoveries on this journey. When something that initially looks like it is opposing itself turns out to actually be complimentary and supporting of itself. This journey is full of unexpected discoveries like this.
You develop a newfound appreciation for those who are your real friends, your long term family; your friends, partners and companions. For they contend with a lot by being a companion to the person deep in awakening, integration, transformation and realization process. It matters not which stage for you keep changing all over the place. The intensity of it all is incredibly challenging.
At the same time, it is quite thrilling to have a person in ones life who is so changeable; who is so surprising, so fearless, so adventurous, so new over and over again.
It is everyone's birthright to realize their own I Am that I Am and to then play with the acts of itself. To expand, to explore, to initiate, to own, to realize, to be curious about. It is a joy of the Soul to be many at the same time; opposites, similarities and everything in between. Unlike the human self, the Soul has no preferences. It loves all of itself. Unconditionally.
It is the inherent given creator-nature of the Soul to be the 'And' rather than the 'either this or that'. The Soul is Free in every nuance of its being. It has the ability to express the delicate shadings of its meaning, feelings, of its value to itself, to itself and the creator. It is incredibly orgasmic to feel these attributes and your creator expects you to feel these for yourself.
You have the right to identify and dis-identify and dissociate. It is the new way of being as a realized multidimensional person. You are not stuck in the same role, the same identity forever. You are not fortified in one point of view.
You are free to explore all the different ways of being, different sides, or no side at all. You are free to explore and experience all of yourself. As a matter of fact, you are expected to do just that.
Our playground has become incredibly interesting; we keep encountering so many new and surprising issues and ways of being on our adventures into Self. New ways of relating with the loved ones in our lives. New questions, new things to resolve. Compassion and acceptance of the Other, of the Self, of the ways we were, the ways they were, but are no longer. Of the ways we are now and we will be in the future. All at the same time. Multidimensional. And gratitude for those that are willing to play in this new way, to stay around, to forgive, to accept. You, dear companion on this journey, you are appreciated more than you know.